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Monday, May 3, 2010

Searching for it....

In Roomaniyon Ka humein..kahin Ek Siraa to mile...
Chalo yun Judaa Hon... Ke phir Muskura ke milein...

Hum Bhi Kahin Sunayein..Wafaa-o-Ishq Ke Fasaane...
Rahe yeh Umeed ke haal apne...Zaraa Zaraa milein...

Ek Baar Aur Chale.. Aagaz-e-Ishq Se Safar....
Mumkin hai Kahin.. Gumaniyon ka falsafaa mile....

Daur-E-Ishq Thi Dua....Khuda ke Shakl Ki Tarah....
Woh Shaks Saari Umr...Daur-E-Darmiyaan Mile....

Dekhiye Yun Milti Hai...Nigahein Chaar Sili...
Jo Sisakti Ek Aas ko... Ek Meherbaan Mile...

Duaan Se... Sunaa Hai.. Tikte hain Aasmaan....
Apni Shiddaton.... Se ab... na jaane kya mile...

lehrein Bhi Khair ho.... kashti Bhi Khair Hon...
Kabhi Tumhe Khuda Mile...Kabhi Nakhuda Mile...

Tumse Na hogi "Niraj"...Ab Aisi Bandagi....
Dil Tab Bhi Udaas tha...jab woh.. jaa ke aa mile....


Roomaniyaan : Romanticism
Siraa : Ends
Sili : Moist
Shiddat : Diligence,Honesty
Nakhuda : Captain of the ship.
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9 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    in roomaniyon ka............
    chalo yun judaa hon... ke PHIR muskura ke milein

    i just added the word PHIR in the 2nd line
    ----------------------------------------------
    7th stanza

    LEHREIN BHI KHAIR HON....KASHTI BHI KHAIR HO....
    KABHI TUMHE KHUDA MILE... KABHI NAKHUDA MILE...

    it is because i felt lehrein is related to khuda and kashti is related to nakhuda, the order so should maintained in 1st and 2nd lines of 7th stanza regarding who controls what.

    --- mitra sir

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 6, 2010 at 8:01 PM

    hum bhi kahin sunayein...wafa-o-ishq ke fasaane
    rahe YEH umeed ke haal apne ... zara zara milein

    listens better and maintains the meter too

    -- mitra sir

    ReplyDelete
  3. NirajMay 7, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    Sure Sir. Done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 10:46 AM

    i feel honored

    thanks

    mitra sir

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    aaj phir 'in roomaniyon ka ...' padha
    bahot sahi laga
    naya meanings sab pata chal raha hai, i mean 'food for thoughts'

    DUM HAI Man.......

    der aaye, par durust aaye

    mitra sir

    ReplyDelete
  6. NirajMay 9, 2010 at 2:34 AM

    Aana to Kismaton mein likha hai Sir...Na Aayenge to Jaan Se Jaayenge...!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 15, 2010 at 11:45 PM

    Geeta: Good candidate for your next Prithvi reading! Very impressive.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 15, 2010 at 11:51 PM

    Geeta: Mitra Sir's insightful comments have brought depth to those lines. But I disagree about the Khuda-Nakhuda ordering, i prefer Nirajs version as it wouldve been a better climax for the couplet.

    ReplyDelete
  9. NirajMay 19, 2010 at 3:08 PM

    Thanks Geeta and Sir. Thanks for the consistent support.
    Will try and improve.

    @ Sir : Zindagi ke baare mein likhunga.... ab Ishq Bahut ho Gaya...

    ReplyDelete

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